Poetry: "mind the gap"

mind the gap

Paige Knoll, Class of 2021

a train wheel mind

chugs even when the brakes are pulled

it spins at 1:13am and

sparks when i desire the dark

steam and whistle

the chug hum

warning me of

insecurities arriving to the platform

i have this fear that i talk too much

that i’m an open book that reads its own

pages aloud when no one has asked for

a synopsis

i am so afraid of someone coming to

collect my permission slip to be myself and that

i won’t be there after they’ve punched holes to prove

i’ve been used

i am so concerned that people give out kindness like quarter-change

not because they mean it

but because they are

supposed to give it to you

i will always sit backwards

even if it means swallowing my fear like

dramamine

if it means i can be of any help

at all

i worry that i run on a train schedule and

that no one can depend

on my arrival

but i’ll be there

i stop at each jumbled junction and

wonder if i will ever not miss

london trains

train to waterloo arriving in four minutes

there i’ll sit and hold my

Stupid Little Biscuit garnished soy latte

wrapped in magenta paper

now arriving, waterloo

i hate magenta

but i love everything about the gloom of the sky

and the way my mind works when i

mind the gap

i am suddenly transported to

fields of sheep and

strangers who know nothing about me

as soon as a wide vowel leaves my mouth

it’s clear that maybe they

actually want to know

where i came from,

and where i am going.